


River

by HyperRedFox



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Cheating, Depression, F/M, Genderbending, Genderswap, Sad Ending, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-11-21 16:06:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18144404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperRedFox/pseuds/HyperRedFox
Summary: *Short story inspired by the song River by Eminem and Ed Sheeran*Gender Bend Ohm is in a loveless marriage, but can't get out. When she finds out that her husband has been seeing another woman (or women) behind her back, she decides it's time to get even.*Warning* This story will have cheating, smut, cursing, attempting suicide, and the death of an unborn child. If these upset you or bother you in any way, DO NOT READ THIS STORY!





	1. Cheating

**Author's Note:**

> _**"Oh look, another fucked up story from the Fox. Who would have guessed?"** _
> 
> _**Shhhh!** _
> 
> _**Hey Foxes!** _
> 
> _**Let's keep this short and sweet. So, this is a story I've been wanting to write for a while, around the time the song it was inspired by, "River" by Eminem and Ed Sheeran, first came out. I just got busy and a little lazy, and so, here it is now.** _
> 
> _**Just a quick recap on the warnings, this short story will contain smut, attempt of suicide, and the death of an unborn child. If these things bother you, DO NOT read this story.** _
> 
> _**Now that that is out of the way! This story will be focusing on a female Ohm and male Delirious and Cartoonz, so this is a straight story. If you want more gay shit, I have plenty of gay shit you can read and I will be getting back to the gay shit later. It's just for this one story.** _
> 
> _**ANYWAYS, I hope you Lovely Foxes enjoy this story, and I'll see you all in the first chapter! Bye!** _

***Warning* This chapter contains cheating and smut!**

**\--------------------------------------------**

"You son of a bitch," I scream as I throw the keyboard into the wall. Anger is flowing through my veins like a river of boiling lava. Then again, it only makes sense that it is. Finding out that your husband of eight years is cheating on you isn't exactly something you can be calm about!

I knew something was up when he would come home late at night and I could smell the perfume on him and see the body glitter. But what I saw on our main computer isn't exactly subtle! The conversations, the pictures, the videos! It painted too much of a picture that I just don't want to see, but it's too late. It's not hanging on the wall, it was pushed into it and sealed with concrete, so I can never get rid of it.

I put the keyboard back in front of the computer and I start walking around our house, trying to calm myself down. He's an hour late, which tells me he's at one of those sluts' houses right now.

"This is fucking bullshit," I yell, tears rolling down my face, ruining my makeup. "I've been so fucking loyal, so fucking faithful, and have been there for him throughout everything he's been through! How is that not enough for him!?"

I walk into the bathroom and look into the mirror, seeing his face take the place of mine. His hair is a mess, lipstick-stained his neck, and his shirt is unbuttoned. "What did I do to deserve this?! I've done everything I could to make you happy!"

"Why don't you think about it," the fake Luke tells me. "What did we try doing for so long that you couldn't do?"

I gasp, "That isn't my fault! We could have continued trying, but you gave up!"

"Look, six years of trying was fun, but there was no point if you couldn't give me a kid, okay. Not to mention, we've been together for so long. I'm tired of trying, we've been married for eight years, been together for ten, the sex was getting old with you, and I wanted something new. These women, they have a better chance than you do."

"Have they been there for you during your first break up?! Have they been there while you were going through school?! Have they been there when we were trying?! Have they been there since your best friend went to jail?!"

"Don't bring Jon into this! Just face it! You've gotten old! You can't give me what I want anymore."

I grit my teeth and say, "Fine. If that's how it's going to be, then two can play this fucking game."

The fake Luke laughs. "Right; because a twenty-year-old is going to want to fuck you."

I grab a makeup wipe and start scrubbing the makeup off of my face before I rip off my shirt and pants. "Just look at yourself," I hear him say. My eyes move back to the mirror and I can see myself next to him. I'm only wearing my bra and panties, which don't match. "How can you say that you'll play my game when you don't even care about how you look?"

I smirk, knowing that I have something I was going to surprise him with. I walk out of the bathroom, taking off my bra and panties, and I go to my dresser. _If he was willing to give me a chance, he would have seen everything I had to offer. However, since he wants to see what else is out there, I'm just going to have to show it to someone else._

I take out a light red thong and slip it on before I take out the matching bra with a thin silky bow in the middle, with lace hanging off the side, curving at the bottom so that it drapes around my hips. Once I have it on, I walk over to my closet and take out my black heels with red soles, and I pull out a black dress with ruffles going around the waist.

I don't put that on just yet. Instead, I put on the heels and I walk back into the bathroom, where the fake Luke still is. "Whoa, where the hell did that come from?"

"If you gave me a chance last year, you would have seen it sooner." I then slip on the black dress and I start modeling it for him and I. Then, I start brushing my hair and curling it, giving it enough volume to bounce, before I start doing my makeup again.

"Aren't you forgetting something," he says.

"What's that?"

"We live in a pretty small town. I'm able to get away with what I do because I work in the next town over. How are you going to find another guy though? Everyone here knows that you're my wife. No one will touch you. And let's not forget that you're almost thirty. You're used up."

"You know what-" I start to yell, but stop when I hear the front door open.

"Honey," I hear Luke call from the main hallway. I look back to the mirror and see that the fake Luke is gone. I also notice that my eyes are still red.

"I'm in here," I call out as I open the drawer in front of me and pull out the eye drops. I quickly put a couple of drops in each eye to clear them up and put it back before I go back to doing my makeup. By the time Luke comes in, I'm just starting my eyes. Even in the mirror, I can see the light red scratches on his neck.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, Ava just called me an hour ago and asked me if I wanted to go drinking with her and some of her friends from her work," I lie.

"Oh, okay. When will you be home?"

"I don't know. I might be out all night, so don't wait up for me."

Once I'm done with my makeup, I turn around and hold out my hand. "Car keys, please."

He digs into his pocket and pulls out the keys to **my** car, and drops them in my hand. I then walk up to him and give him a quick kiss on the cheek before I walk into our bedroom and grab my purse. "I'll see you tomorrow," I say as I walk out of the room and go downstairs.

I walk out of the house and into my car, however, I just sit there for a while. I really didn't think this through. I don't know where to go from here. Hoping for some type of inspiration, I jump onto Instagram and start looking through my friends' pictures. None of them are out tonight, and by the looks of things, none of them have been wanting to go out for a while. _Since when did everyone I know decide to get married... since when did they start having kids..._

Just as I'm about to give up and just start driving around, I see a post. Its Jonathan, Luke's best friend. Well, it's more of a couple of unopened beers than him, but he was the one that posted it, and it was only a few minutes ago. The post also has a tag on it, for the bar he works at.

It may be risky for me to try to pick up someone there, but I have an idea that just might work if I play my cards right. So, I finally put my phone away, start the car, and pull out of the driveway.

After a short while, I pull into the parking lot for the bar and I'm about to walk in, only to stop when I see that I still have my wedding ring on. Although Jonathan knows I'm married, I don't want him to see it and stop while I try to do this, so I slip it off and put it in my purse before I walk into the bar.

It seems to be a slow night, since not too many people are here, but there are enough to make to keep Jonathan busy while I walk up to the bar. It isn't until I sit on one of the stools that he looks up and finally notices me. The second he does, his jaw drops, and he quickly walks over to me. "Ohm," he says in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"I need a drink," I say, allowing my real emotions to show, so he could see how upset I am.

"What can I get you," he asks, worry hinting in his voice.

"Sex on the beach."

He turns around and grabs everything needed to make the cocktail, and I watch as he works his magic, creating it perfectly in front of my eyes. He slides it over to me and I take a sip before I thank him.

"Ohm, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at home with Luke?" I think back to those chat logs and it doesn't take me too long to start crying softly. "Whoa whoa! Ohm, what's wrong? Please don't cry."

"I'm sorry," I say, fanning my eyes with my hand. He quickly grabs me a napkin and hands it to me so I can dab the tears, to not ruin my make-up. "It's just... I just found out Luke has been... He's been cheating on me... With five other girls." As the last three words leave my lips, I start crying again.

Looking up for a second, I see Jonathan's eyes glued onto me, wide open, and his jaw practically on the floor. He is pulled back into reality by someone calling him over to the other side of the bar. He apologizes to me and tells me to stay where I am and to not talk to anyone.

When I leave, I quickly try to dry my tears and I take another sip of my drink. After a minute, he comes back and asks me how I know that he is doing all of that. "I know I shouldn't have, but a few hours ago, I was messing around on the main computer and I saw that his Facebook was open. I went through his messages and found five different girls talking to him. They were all talking about what they wanted him to do with them, sending him pictures and videos... And he was encouraging them to do more, send more, and told them about what he wanted to do to them." Tears yet again slide down my cheek, which Jonathan wipes away. He most likely smudged my foundation, but if things keep going as well as this, that won't be a problem.

"I can't believe he's doing that to you. I mean, look at you. For god sake, I work at the biggest bar in town and I can still say you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

_Hell, maybe this will be easier than I thought._

"Thank you," I say, giving him a shy smile. "But I don't blame him for wanting someone new. I mean, I'm almost 30 years old, I have something wrong with my body that won't allow me to have kids, and... I'm not the same as back in high school when all of us met. When he and I started dating. I'm used up."

"Don't you ever say that, Ohm. You are beautiful, and Luke is a damn idiot. Why do you think I told you to not talk to anyone else? It's because I've been seeing all of these guys here eyeing you since you sat down at the bar."

He takes a deep breath and says, "I don't want you to do something you're going to regret."

I smile at him again and say, "Thank you, Jon. You're still so sweet."

He blushes and turns his face away before he says, "So, what is happening with you and Luke now?"

I look back down to my drink and sigh. "We're still married, but I want to get a divorce. Since I just found out about it today, I need to find a lawyer."

"Does he know you know?"

I nod. "I told him I wanted this divorce, but he wants to keep it quiet, so please don't tell him I told you about this. I just don't know who else to turn to."

He takes my hand and says, "I promise, your secret is safe with me."

I smile at him and cup his hands with mine. My eyes slowly drift from his eyes down to his neck, and I see something that I can use to make the conversation move forward. "Is that tattoo on your neck new?"

He turns his head a little and allows me to see the tattoo on his neck. "To you it is, but for me it's old. I got it when I was in jail."

I giggle, "I still can't believe you got locked up for robbery. I would have thought Luke would have gotten in trouble way before you."

He laughs, "That's what happens when you're as stupid as I was."

"You weren't stupid," I say as I place a hand on the side of his cheek and drag my fingers slowly down. We stare into each other's eyes, and I can feel my heart start to beat harder.

We only snap back to reality by the sound of someone breaking glass on the opposite side of the bar. We look over and see two men starting a fight, which Jonathan quickly runs over to defuse the situation, along with two bouncers. I watch as Jonathan pulls one of the men off of the other, putting him in a headlock before throwing him to the ground. I take a slow sip from my drink as my eyes travel along his muscles, bulging as he held the man down.

_Why have I never noticed how built he really is?_

After a minute, the bouncers take the men to the back to wait for police, and Jonathan comes back behind the bar and starts to walk back over to me. He stops several times to help out the customers at the bar, giving them more drinks or checking them out so they can leave. By the time he comes back to me, my glass is almost emptied.

"Another sex on the beach?"

"Yes please," I say as I keep my eyes locked on him.

We keep our eyes locked together as he makes the cocktail, making it perfectly without even having to look. When he slides it over to me, I give him the mostly empties glass and take a sip from the new one. "You had more tattoos, right?"

"Yeah, but they're all under my shirt."

"Can I see them," I ask, biting my bottom lip. His eyes drop a little as I do so and go back up to my eyes just as fast.

"Maybe, but not here. Why don't you come by my house when I'm done."

"Okay, but I'm waiting here until you get off work."

"It's only nine and I don't get off until two in the morning; three if it turns into a busy night."

"Doesn't matter. I'll stay and wait for you."

He gives me a smirk and takes out another glass. "Alright, but I'm cutting you off after that glass." He fills the new glass up with water and slides it over to me. "Once you're done, you're only getting water."

"Whatever you say, Del," I say, batting my eyes at him. His face turns a light shade of pink at the reminder of one of his many old nicknames. However, he soon recovers and turns away, getting back to work.

As the night drags on, Jonathan and I continuously lock eyes as he works. Whenever we do, I make it known that I want him by either batting my eyes at him or biting or licking my lips. After about two or three hours, I pull out a little mirror from my purse and make sure I don't have lipstick in my teeth. It's practically gone, however, I'm just happy to see I'm not embarrassing myself with pink teeth. I pull out my lipstick from my purse and reapply it, and as soon as I close the mirror and look up, I see the Jonathan is staring at me, which makes me smile at him.

Several men also try to come up to me, but I send them all away. If my words don't do enough for them, normally Jonathan coming over and glaring at them does the trick. I'm not used to getting attention, so this ends up making me feel a lot more confident by the end of the night.

About an hour until closing, I let Jonathan know that I was going to the bathroom, so he doesn't worry about me. I can feel his eyes on me as I walk towards the back, so I flip my hair back and flash him a smile as I pass him. When I go into the bathroom itself, I check and make sure that the bathroom is empty before I look back to the mirror, seeing the face of my ever-so-loving husband.

"Alright, you made your point. Now, why don't you come home and just confront me about what happened?"

"Right, because all you did was flaunt yourself in front of all those girls and didn't touch them."

"Are you seriously going to fuck my best friend to get back at me?! That's so fucked up!"

"And having five girlfriends while you have a wife isn't? Look, you started this, and I'm ending it. After this, I'll not only confront you, but I'll tell you all about how I'm going to fuck Jonathan. I can't wait to see how long we can go, because if its all night-"

"You fucking slut!"

"I'm the slut? Well, considering I'm only going after one person when I can easily get every guy in this bar, I'm going to say that's a strong word to use on me. But it's a perfect fit for you."

I flip my hair again before I turn back and go back out to the bar, taking my seat at the end of the bar, and I continue to flirt with Jonathan from afar. Another hour or two, he finally gets off work, and by this time I'm sober enough to drive myself to his house. Once we get there, he pulls out a bottle of my favorite red wine, which for some reason he always has on hand.

We sit down and start drinking together, laughing and talking as we go through half the bottle together. As I swirl the wine around the glass, I say, "I should have honestly seen this coming."

"There's no way you could have, Ohm."

"Right. That's why I'm called OhmWerker now."

"Hey, that was because that bitch was jealous of you. Luke told everyone that they broke up two weeks before you guys got together."

"But that's the problem... Luke told everyone they had broken up, but she said they were still together. What if he lied to us just to get with me?"

He looks down to his glass and shakes his head. "I don't want to think about my best friend in that way, but I don't know him as well as I thought."

As he takes a drink, I see a little bit of his tattoo on his neck. "Oh god, I completely forgot. I came here so you could show me the rest of your tattoos."

"Oh right." He puts his glass down and stands up. I then sit back and watch as he pulls his shirt up, over his head. The moment I see his body, I have to fight myself to keep my jaw closed.

Ever since I got with Luke, Jonathan made it a point to never show me his body, and now I know why. The man is built, and the tattoos on his chest and back just make him look like eye candy. Why this man is still single is unknown to me, but it's definitely good for tonight.

I put my glass down and stand up, putting myself in front of him. My hands slowly find their way onto his body and slide up to his chest, which is eye level with me. I look up and lock eyes with him. I'm not sure if it is the wine or if it is from all of the flirting from earlier, but the tension between us with extremely strong. It just needs a push, and it has to be done naturally.

"Your tattoos look good on you... How are you still single when you look like this?"

He chuckles before saying, "I've been looking for a real good girl, and none of the good ones seem to want to be with my dumbass."

"You're not dumb," I say, sliding my hands up to his shoulders.

The second I do that, I can feel that last push causing us to go over the edge. It's slow, but it's starting to roll downhill.

Our eyes stay locked together as our bodies get pushed together, my arms meeting behind his neck. I can feel him starting to lean down, so I push myself up so I can meet him halfway. Our heads turn naturally with each other, and our eyes start to shut as our lips come closer. Then, they meet, and it feels amazing. That's the only words I can think of to describe this as is that it feels like fireworks are set off in my head. His lips are so soft and he isn't trying to be too rough as his hands slide around my waist and he pulls me closer.

After a few seconds, one of his hands slide down to my ass and he grabs it, roughly. I let out a gasp, and he takes that opportunity to deepen our kiss, sliding his tongue into my mouth and leading a dance with my own. I moan and start lifting up one of my legs, resting it just under his hip and wrapping it around his leg, while he rubs my ass and thigh.

We break away from each other to catch our breath, and I feel him lift the bottom of my dress a little before he whispers, "Jump." I tighten my grip on his neck and take a deep breath, remembering a time when I messed up and fell on my ass doing this. Shutting my eyes, I quickly try to jump up, and Jonathan quickly puts his hands under me, keeping me up. He bounces me in his arms as he moves one arm under me, and I wrap my legs around his waist. We then look back to each other, and I go back in for another kiss, which he happily returns.

Putting my hands on the side of his face, I let everything that happened to me today slip my mind, and allow myself to relax in Jonathan's arms. My body starts to rock in his arms as I feel him starting to walk around the couch and into his hallway. Soon, he pushes me into the wall, not harshly, but a little hard. I hear him start to mess with the doorknob to his room, trying to get it open. Once he does, he walks in, me still in his arms, and as soon as he shuts the door, he slams me into it, causing me to gasp. He lowers his head and starts sucking on my neck as he starts to lower me. Once he thinks I'm low enough for him, he starts grinding into me, which causes me to start moaning. I can feel a bulge, but I can tell he isn't completely hard yet.

I start digging my nails into him as he starts grinding into me harder and I feel him start to nibble my neck. My head rolls back as my moans get louder, and soon I'm moaning his name, which seems to get him a little harder a little faster. He stops after a minute or two and I jump off of him, trying not to trip in my heels as I land on the ground. I push him away as I fix the bottom of my dress before I look into his eyes. Reaching behind my back, I pull the zipper on my dress down and I slide my arms out of it, however, I put my hands on my chest in order to keep the dress on. This makes Jonathan chuckle.

"Stop teasing me already. Let me see," he chuckles as he takes a couple of steps towards me. Resting his forearm against the door, just above my head, he leans back down, grabbing the back of my head as he does so, and he kisses me again. As he slips his tongue back into my mouth, I let go of my dress, letting it fall. However, it doesn't fall to the ground like I was hoping it would. Instead, it gets stuck on my hips.

I try to pull the dress down as I continue to kiss him, but it doesn't go down that much. Annoyed by the dress, I grab the bottom of it and bounce a couple of times before it finally pops pass my hips and drops to the ground. Jonathan laughs as he breaks away.

"You need some help ther- damn," he says as he looks me up and down. "God damn," he says again as he starts running his hand along my body, playing with the lace that's hanging off of my bra. "Were you planning on doing this?"

"I was hoping to take someone home tonight," I tell him, honestly, before I wrap my arms around his neck. I then finish my sentence by saying, "I'm just happy I ran into you."

He smiles at me before he leans back down to kiss me, his hands resting on my hips. I slowly lift my leg up to his hip as his hand slides down to my ass. Suddenly, he pushes me into the door and looks into my eyes with a smirk. Before I even know what he's doing, he slips his hand into my panties and he starts rubbing me. I feel my face heat up, and I try to put my leg down, however, he grabs my thigh and holds it up.

I look back up to him, my breathing quickly become shaky and light moans already slipping out, and I see that his smirk has gotten a bit bigger. "You're so fucking wet, and all for me." I feel his hand go a little lower and he puts a finger into me. I feel him start to massage my inner walls for a minute before he adds in another two fingers. My eyes widen and I let out a gasp before I really start moaning. My head rolls back as I moan loudly, grabbing his hand as he moves his fingers, violently.

I cry out his name as I fall forward, digging my nails into his shoulder. I feel my body starting to get close, which is when he finally pulls his hand out of me. He pushes me back against the door and looks into my eyes again. "I just have to see what I get to have tonight."

He goes down onto one knee and he pulls my thong down, my juices coating it. I see him lick his lips before he grabs my leg and puts it on his shoulder and starts sucking on my clit. Low moans escape as I feel him run his tongue up and down my pussy before he shoves his tongue into me. I run my hands through his hair as I moan, feeling my body get even close to the edge. I want to cum so badly, but I try to hold myself back.

Jonathan grabs my other leg and forces me to put it onto his other shoulder before he stands up, taking me with him. He moves away from the door, which I'm using to keep myself up, so I fall back a little. This seemed to be exactly what he wanted because he uses this to get his tongue as deep as he possibly could. It doesn't take too long after this starts that I finally give into my body and I cum into his mouth.

I feel my body start to shake from the intense orgasm, and I'm left panting from it as he sucks up all my juices. When he finally lets me go, I look up at him as he licks his lip. "You taste so damn good. I want to have more."

I giggle and say, "It isn't fair that you just take care of me. I want to return the favor."

I then start to push him back until he's sitting on the bed. He unzips his pants and slides his pants and boxers off while I get on my knees in front of him. When I see his dick, I bite my lip and hum.

I start off by wrapping my hand around his cock and I start jerking him off while I look up at him. He sucks in some air as he watches me do this, leaning back as he starts to relax. I give him a quick smirk and continue to jerk him off, however, I put my head in between his legs and I run my tongue around his sack. I tease him for a bit by doing this a couple of times, however, I want to hear him moan. I get my mouth around one of his balls and I start to suck on it, receiving just what I wanted; a low moan from him. After hearing that, I pull my head out and I look back to him, seeing his face a light pink and his eyes are slightly opened. Smirking, I give his head a little kiss before I wrap my lips around it and start to swirl my tongue around him. I bob my head up and down, taking him in as much as I can and dragging my teeth a couple of times on the way up, getting a lot of groans from him as he tries to hold my head down. After a while though, I get bored with this, so I decide to try something I haven't done before. Not even with my husband.

I pull myself away from him and sit up more so that my chest is leveled with his knees. Staring straight into his eyes, I reach behind me and unclasp my bra, letting this fall completely off of me. I then crawl closer to him and I wrap my tits around his dick as much as they can. I bounce them on him a couple of times, wanting to see his reaction to this, which he delivers. His head rolls back and I hear a few sharp breaths coming from him. As if my smirk couldn't be any bigger, seeing him react like this is beautiful to me. With my tits still around his base, I put my mouth around the head, licking him like his dick was made of ice cream, and only stopping when my lips meet my tits.

Suddenly, I'm pulled off of him, and I'm looking into his gorgeous blue eyes. "If you keep doing that, I'm going to cum." He pulls me onto the bed and has me sitting on him, my legs on either side of him. Laying back, he puts his arms behind his head and orders me to, "Ride me."

I blush and look down to his dick, which is pressed against my pussy. Biting my lip, I lift myself up and take his dick in my hand. Rubbing his head against my pussy, I feel my face start to heat up even more from how sensitive my pussy is feeling after what he had already done to it. I then let out a loud moan as I lower myself onto him. Resting my hands on his chest, I start bouncing on him.

His head rolls back as I bounced harder and faster, practically twerking on him as I lean forward and only moving my lower half. "Dear sweet God," he moans. "You're too damn good at this."

I smile when he says that and sit back up, going back to bouncing on him. He slides his hands up to my hips before he takes control, forcing me to bounce on him harder as he starts thrusting into me. I shut my eyes and scream out in pure pleasure as he pounds into my g-spot. I feel like I'm on cloud nine, and I can already feel a knot start to form inside of me.

He sits up and grabs my head, making me kiss him and wrap my legs around his waist. He rolls us over and pins me down before he starts pounding into me again. I dig my nails into his back, scratching him over and over as he fucks me, and my heels dig into his bed. I scream his name as he starts sucking on my neck, bringing me closer and closer to the edge.

"Oh, Jon~! I'm so~ mmm! I'm so close~!"

He goes back up and kisses me before he says, "Cum for me. Come on, baby. Cum for me like a good girl."

I grab his arms and dig my nails into him as I arch my back and scream out his name in pure bliss. My body tightens around him, and I feel his dick start to twitch inside of me before he cums inside of me. We stare into each other's eyes, and we pant heavily as we try to come down from our high. Eventually, he pulls out of me and lays next to me in bed.

After a while, I finally say, "That was amazing."

He laughs and says, "Yeah it was." We both turn our heads and look at each other, and we smile. "You know, this is practically a dream come true for me."

"What do you mean?"

"I know I never really made it obvious, but back in high school, I had a huge crush on you."

My eyes widen and my jaw drops. "You did?"

He nods, "I wanted to ask you out so badly."

"Why didn't you?"

"I was scared you'd turn me down. I didn't look like this back then, and I didn't know if I was your type. And as dumb luck would have it, the same day I decided I was going to stop being a fucking pussy and just ask you out, Luke had beaten me to it."

He sighs. "I thought after you agreed to be his wife, I lost my chance at ever getting to with you."

I look down in between us. I would have never guessed that Jon had a thing for me. He hid his feelings well. It makes me feel bad now thinking about how close we had been. He's been there for almost everything. If only I knew sooner.

"I wish you had told me how you felt back then. It would have saved me a lot of heartache, and this would have happened so much sooner."

He pulls me closer to him and he gives me a sweet, long kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck before we pull away from each other. "Do you have to go back tonight, or can you stay over?"

"I don't care if that bastard asked me to come home. I want to stay."

He chuckles and pulls me on top of him. "Then how about we go another round before bed."

I giggle and lean down, pressing my tits against his chest. "You just read my mind," I giggle before I happily kiss him.

_I think I could get used to this... But what am I going to do with Luke?_


	2. Truth

***Trigger Warning***

Once I see Luke drive off in my car, I sigh and text Jon, telling him the coast is clear. It's been about three months since Jon and I started seeing each other, and the fear of being caught has doubled since yesterday. Last night, before Luke came home, I went out and bought three pregnancy tests. All three came out positive.

Although I could try to see the lighter side of things, right now I have a pit in my stomach that is literally making me sick. My lie has started coming undone. I need to come clean and tell Jon the truth. I need to go through with my plan to get a divorce... Well, that was never part of the plan, but, I can't be with Luke if I'm going to have Jon's baby. It wouldn't be fair for the child. It wouldn't be fair for Jon.

Once I get the text from Jon, telling me to come out, I quickly run out of the house, locking the door behind me as I run to meet him. He pushes his car door open and I jump in, reaching over to hug him tightly and to kiss him. Every time I see him, I feel like a teenager again. He makes me so happy... _So why am I still playing him?_

I close the door and sit back in his passenger seat as he starts driving us to his house. Along the way, I put on my head on his shoulder and he puts his arm around me. After a short while we pull up to his house and we quickly jump out and rush to the door, with me giggling all the way, just excited to be with him again.

Once we walk in, I quickly notice the wine glasses on the table and my all time favorite bottle of wine breathing in between them. I turn around and give him a soft smile, trying to hide my worried feeling. "What's this?"

"Well," he starts as he takes my arm and walks us over to the couch. "I know you've been stressing out recently, and I wanted to help you relax. So, I went and picked up your favorite wine, and I thought we could share the bottle, have some fun, and I'd get you home before nightfall."

My smile grows a bit bigger, however, at the same time, my worry and the knots in my stomach get worse. It's true that I have been stressed lately, however, that was all because I've been worrying about hiding Jon's and mines relationship as well as the fact that my period had been over two months late.

_He is so sweet to worry about me and wanting to help me relax... God, I need to tell him the truth and I need to do it now!_

"That's so sweet of you, Jonny; but I don't really feel like drinking right now. Maybe later." As soon as I finish my sentence, I lean in and give him a gentle kiss before I pull him closer to the couch.

We then sit down, myself sitting so close to him that I might as well be sitting on his lap. We just chat a little bit, flirting a little bit to open the door for more to happen. Then, I decide that now is the best time for me to tell him everything.

Taking a deep breath, I gather up all the courage I have and open my mouth to speak, only to stop myself when Jon's phone starts to ring. He pulls it out of his phone and we both look at the screen. I can feel my heart drop into my stomach as soon as I see Luke's name appear on it.

Jon looks at me, a worried expression on his face, unknowing what to do. I knew that this couldn't have been good. Jon and I know Luke better than anyone, and we both knew that he would never call anyone when he is at work. With that in mind, I whisper, as if he could hear me before the call was answered, "Answer it. Just pretend like I'm not here."

Jon nods and quickly answers the phone, putting it to his ear and trying to gather his thoughts. "Hey man," he answers, trying to hide the worry in his voice, and doing it somewhat well.

All of a sudden, he rips the phone away from his ear as we both hear Luke yelling into the phone. Most of it makes no sense... Except for one thing. "That cheating whore".

"Luke," he then yells into the phone to try to get him to hear him. "Calm the fuck down! What the hell are you talking about? What's going on?"

He then puts the phone back to his ear and nods a couple of times as Luke talks to him. After a minute, Jon then says, "Alright. I'm changing right now. I'll be over in a few minutes."

He then hangs up the phone and stands up. "Come on, we need to get you back to the house, now."

"What do you mean? What's going on?"

"I'll explain along the way, but we need to leave now."

I nod and quickly stand up and run after him as we run out of his house and back into his car. My heart is racing as he quickly pulls out of his driveway and starts speeding onto the main road.

As he drives, he keeps his word and tells me what's happening. Apparently, Luke found out that I was seeing another man, but he doesn't know who it is that I'm seeing. He's saying he's leaving me. And he was saying a couple of other things that Jon doesn't want to repeat... But it all ends with him asking Jon to come pick him up so he could get away from me.

"What does he mean he's leaving you? I thought you guys were already getting a divorce," he then asks me as we start to pull onto my block.

I quickly tell him to stop and let me out of the car, telling him that I didn't want Luke to see us pulling up together. I tell him that I'll explain everything later, and tell him to wait for a few minutes so that I could try to talk to Luke first.

Thankfully, he listens and pulls over a few houses away from my home, allowing me to jump out and run to the house. As soon as I get to the porch, I reach out to grab the doorknob, only for the door to swing open and almost hit me in the face. Then, I'm face to face with my husband, who has the angriest look on his face, complete with a wildfire burning in his eyes.

"Well look who's fucking home?!"

"Honey," I instantly say, a smile on my face and forcing as much love to come out as I can fake. "What are you doing home already!"

I try to walk closer to him to wrap my arms around him, but the second I take a step towards him, he puts his arm out and he pushes me away. "Don't you fucking touch me, you god damn whore!"

"What?!"

"I saw your fucking tests in the trash! How the fuck are you pregnant when we haven't had sex in over two years!"

I quickly drop my act and finally allow my anger that I've been holding back for months to come out. "We haven't had sex? No, I hadn't had sex until recently! You, on the other hand, have had plenty of fucking sex over the past few years! I found all of those fucking messages! I saw how many women you were cheating on me with!"

"Why the fuck were you looking through my fucking shit?!"

"You left everything open on the computer!"

"Well if you knew that I was with someone else-"

"Five fucking sluts!"

"Oh, you're one to fucking talk!"

"Oh what?! Because I have to play the role of a loving housewife, I'm supposed to sit back and let you make me look like an idiot?! What's good for the goose is good for the gander, honey!"

"So you wanted to go whore yourself around?!"

"Not really," I say in a calmer voice and with a smirk. "I just found myself a real man that actually cares about me and loves me. Someone unlike you!"

"Oh good for you," he laughs, with anger heavily in his voice. "You're only fucking one bastard! Being a fucking whore, fucking one guy, is better than coming to me, telling me that you know what I fucking did! Cheating on me is fucking better than just walking out the fucking door! Or is it just easier to spread your fucking legs over getting a fucking divorce?!"

"What the hell is going on here," I then hear from behind me, making my heart drop.

I snap my head around and see Jon walking over to us, a look of confusion with a hint of anger in his eyes. _Shit, how much did he hear?_

"Perfect timing," Luke then says before he throws open the front door and grabs a suitcase from inside the house. "I'm doing something this slut was too fucking stupid to do," he then yells before he pushes me out of the way.

"Wait, what do you mean," Jon asks again, his eyes glued on me.

"What I mean is that instead of leaving me or telling me she wanted a divorce, this fucking whore decided to fuck another fucking guy!"

Jon's eyes narrow at me, making me feel like daggers are stabbing me. "You don't say."

"The fucking car is under her fucking name, but the house is under mine," Luke then says as he turns back to me. "I'm only leaving for a few days so you can get your shit and get the fuck out! If I come back and you're still here, I'm calling the fucking cops!"

"Are you seriously kicking me out," I ask, tears starting to build up in my eyes. 

"No fucking shit! I don't care what you fucking do, just get your shit and get the fuck out of my house! Live in your car for all I care or go beg that bastard to let you stay with him! I'm pretty sure he'll let you pay your rent on your knees anyway!"

Luke then turns his back on me and starts walking towards Jon's truck. Jon, however, tells him to wait in the truck while he talks to me really fast. Fear slows my heart down more and more as I stand there, frozen on the porch, and watch as he gets closer to me.

When he is right in front of me, he glares at me and growls in a low voice to keep Luke from hearing, "You never fucking told him you knew! You never fucking told him you wanted a divorce! You were fucking using me to cheat on him this whole god damn time!"

"Jon please," I whisper. "I can explain."

"I don't want to hear shit, Ryan! I can't believe you! I fucking told you how I fucking felt and you decided to fucking use that to do this to my fucking best friend!"

"I was going to tell you the truth and leave him, I swear to god. I was going to do that today."

"Yeah fucking right! Like I'm supposed to believe that fucking bullshit!"

"I was!"

"Whatever," he then says before turning away from me and starting to walk away. I try to stop him, hoping to tell him at least the one thing that he needed to know now that the truth is out, but when I touch his arm, he pulls it away and glares at me. "Just fuck off, Ryan! I don't want shit to do with you anymore after this bullshit! Lose my damn number and never come to the fucking bar again!"

After spitting that, he turns away from me again and walks back to his truck, jumping in and speeding away from the house, not even looking back to me. The second the truck is out of my sight, I fall to my knees and start crying so hard that I'm unable to breathe. Not truly knowing what else to do, I crawl into the house and pull myself up, not bothering to shut the door as I stumble up the stairs. Not thinking or knowing what else to do, I run into the bathroom and splash water on my face, hoping to wake up from this nightmare already.

_None of this could actually be happening. This has to be a nightmare! This has to be one of those dreams that are so bad that when I wake up, I'm going to be crying! None of this can be real!_

"Wrong~," I then hear someone say in a singsong voice. I jump back and look in the mirror, only to see myself in the black dress I was wearing the night I decided to cheat on Luke. "What's wrong, dear~? Don't like how the game ended~?"

"Of course not! I just lost everything! My home, my husband, my..."

"Our lover~?"

"He was more than that..."

"Oh right~. He was going to be our baby daddy~."

"No, no! He was more than that too! I just... I fucked everything up... I don't know what I'm going to do now."

"That's right~. We're homeless now~. No place to go with a baby on the way~. No family since we moved out here to make Luke happy~. Our friends are all in happy marriages, and what husband would want their wife hanging around a slut that cheated on her husband~... Or what would they think~? They might think your nickname actually holds up now~. They might think of you as a little homewerker~. And you can't live in a car with a baby~. You never had a job, so who would hire you~."

"How did this all turn on me like this," I scream as tear start to pour down my cheeks again.

"How do you think~? Everything that happens next is all you~! It has always been on you~! Now you have to worry about this brat inside of you as well as yourself~! So, what's going to happen now~?"

I blink as I go to wipe away my tears, and when I open them again, the other me is gone. Scared and alone in the big, quiet house that I called my home for so long, I walk out into the bedroom and sit down on the bed. The words of the other me had said started to sink into my mind, and the words from the boys replay as while... I am all alone... No job... No money... No home... Once the words finish swirling around my head like a whirlpool, I am left with a single question again... What is going to happen next? No one will help me... Not even my friends... My reputation is ruined... _My life... is over..._

_..._

_I can't do this..._

_..._

_I can't..._

*Jon's POV*

As Luke and I drive back to my place, we pretty much stay silent. I could tell that he was fuming... But so was I.

_I can't believe she used me to cheat on him... I should have known it was too damn good to be true. Why else would she come to me? Why else would she be willing to be with me like that?... I really was a god damn dumbass._

As soon as we get to my house, I walk in and go straight to the kitchen to get out a bottle of whiskey and a couple of glasses, knowing we were both going to need this. As I grab the glasses out of the cabinet, I hear Luke ask from the living room, "Were you expecting someone?"

Confused, I walk out and look towards him, only to see him staring at the bottle of wine on the table. I clear my throat and hope to hide the pain in my voice as I walk over and put the whiskey and glasses down before I pick up the wine and wine glasses. "Yeah, I was. There was this chick I was seeing for the past few months."

"Shit man, I didn't know. Why don't you tell me about her?"

"Doesn't matter," I then say before I take the bottle and glasses to the kitchen to put away. "Found out that the bitch was using me to cheat on her man. I'm not dealing with that fucking bullshit."

"Shit, sorry man. Guess we're both just having shit luck with women right now."

I chuckle, remembering what Ryan had told me the night she showed up at the bar... _Was anything she told me true?_

Curiosity gets the better of me, so when I walk into the living room, I just laugh and say, "Yeah right. Word at the bar says differently for you."

"What do you mean?"

"Word at the bar says you got a couple of girls in the city."

He groans and rolls his head back against the couch. "Fuck man, did that shit really get out? Great, now I'm going to have to deal with the bitchy women here talking shit about me too."

My eyes widen a bit as I sit next to him. "So it is true," I ask, a bit surprised to hear that not everything Ryan had told me was bullshit.

"Yeah... Apparently, that's why Ohm cheated on me. Bitch found out and decided to fuck some other guy to get back at me."

I sigh and pop open the bottle of whiskey. "I wonder if that guy knew if she was still with you or not."

"He had to have known, man. If people found out that I was fucking other bitches in the city, that bastard had to have known that Ohm was my wife. Everyone knows that."

I pour us our drinks and hand him his before I pretty much chug my glass before slamming it on the table. "So how did you find out that she was cheating?"

Luke then drinks his whiskey before slamming his glass next to mine. "The bitch is pregnant."

My eyes instantly shoot wide open and I look over to him, fear shooting through my veins. "She's what?!"

"I knew something was going on, so I came home early today. I looked around the house and, sure enough, I found three pregnancy test in the trash in the bathroom. All positive."

"And you're sure it isn't yours?"

He laughs, "Fucking please! Not only have I not touched her in years, but I don't have shit to shoot. I don't want a fucking kid, so I got a vasectomy before she and I got married. Problem is, she didn't know that, so every time we did shit, she would always push for us to have one. I got tired of that bullshit, didn't want to tell her the truth because I didn't want to hear shit from her, so I stopped fucking her after a while. That's why I've been fucking girls in the city. They're all business bitches. Too focused on their careers to worry about kids. Even if I somehow was able to get one of them knocked up, they'd be the ones to suggest getting rid of it."

I feel my body go cold as I think back to this morning... to when I left Ryan at her house... She said she had something to tell me... _No!_

"Oh my fucking god," I say, feeling my body start to shake as I realize what Ryan was trying to tell me.

"What's wrong?"

"I need to go," I then say before I stand up and start rushing to my truck. Luke either sees the worried expression on my face or was able to pick up something in my voice, which causes him to jump up and follow me to my truck. We both jump in and I quickly start up my engine before I start speeding back to their house, knowing that I need to talk to Ryan about this now. I need to know if what Luke is saying is true and if it's really mine.

"JON!" I'm ripped back to reality at the sound of Luke's voice, which causes me to look at him really fast before looking back to the road. "What are you doing?! Where the fuck are we going?!"

I sigh, knowing that I have no choice but to come clean now. "Luke, I need to tell you the truth... I was the guy fucking Ryan."

"You were what?!"

"Look, she came to the bar a few months ago and she told me she was leaving you. Told me you were cheating on her with a bunch of girls and that she told you she was leaving you."

"And you couldn't have called me to make sure she wasn't lying before you fucking fucked my wife?!"

"She told me you guys were keeping it secret so that you both didn't have to deal with the high and mighty bitches here!"

"You know I fucking would have told you though! And either way, that was my fucking wife! Why the fuck would you fuck her even if we were getting a divorce?!"

"... Same reason why I almost ended our friendship back in high school," I tell him, reminding him about the two months I avoided him so many years ago.

"... You still had a thing for her?"

"No shit man... Have you seen the woman you married? She's beautiful... and up until today, I thought she was beautiful inside and out."

I hear Luke sit back against his seat and hear him sigh loudly. "Shit man... You probably think I'm an ass for not leaving her then."

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, but that's more for the fact that you had a hot wife and yet you had five girlfriends."

Luke chuckles a bit before saying, "...Do you... Do you want to have this kid with her?"

I keep my eyes locked on the road as I think about that question. True, I am pissed off at Ryan for using me the way that she did, but I don't know what she was planning on doing when she was trying to talk to me. I don't know what her plans were. I don't know if she would have wanted to keep it... But if she wanted to have a baby with Luke so badly, maybe she would have wanted to keep this kid... Maybe she was going to want to just be with me.

The thought of that possibly being a choice makes me smile a bit and I start to feel the anger inside of me slowly start to die down... I'm probably a dumbass for even thinking this, but I answer, "Yeah... Even if what she did was wrong, I should have told you what I was doing with her, so we were both in the wrong here... But if things would have been different, I would have still wanted to have a kid with her."

We both stay silent for a bit as we start to get closer to their street. "I'm sorry man," Luke then says. "I should have left her years ago when I started to get annoyed with her obsession with wanting kids. She and I clearly wanted different things, while you wanted..."

"I wanted her," I finish.

"Yeah... So what are you going to do if the baby is yours?"

"What do you mean 'if'," I chuckle as I turn onto their street. "Trust me, I know for sure that I was the only guy she was fucking. The question should be, if she is really pregnant. And if she is, then I'm going to try again with her. I want to see if we could make it work and if we can stay together... I want my child to have both its mom and its dad in the picture." I pull up to their house and park the truck. "I wouldn't mind them also having an uncle too."

Luke laughs a little before giving me a light punch in the arm. "Man, if you weren't like my little brother, I would have knocked your fucking teeth out already."

I laugh back before I rub the back of my neck. "You think you can forgive me for sleeping with your wife?"

"Look man, that's taking this in a different place. I love you and all; I mean, you're like family, but you crossed a line that's hard to come back from. There's no way I can say I forgive you any time soon, even if you didn't know. As for her, there's no way in hell I can ever fucking forgive her. Especially after finding this shit out." He shakes his head a bit before he looks towards me. "But I can at least try to... For you."

I smile and start to say something, but stop when I hear Luke say, "What the hell?"

I look over to him and see him quickly open the door and jump out of the truck before he starts heading towards his house. I turn around and look to the house to see what's up, and my eyes widen when I see what he saw. The front door is wide open.

I quickly get out of the truck and run after Luke to get to the front door, stopping behind him when we come to it. "Ohm," he then yells into the house, taking a few steps in and looking around.

As we walk in, he and I look around, checking to see if it looks like someone had come in after we left. Everything just seems quiet, and it is that alone that makes me start to feel nervous. I look to Luke and see him pull out his gun from his hostel, which he always kept on his belt, and he looks back to me.

"There's something wrong here," he then says in a low voice, trying not to be too loud, just in case. "I'm going to check upstairs, you look around down here."

I nod and start walking towards their living room, keeping my eyes and ears open for any sort of noise or movement. After looking around the living room, I make my way into the dining room, which was right next to it, doing the same thing before walking into the kitchen and then the laundry room. It is only once I walk into the laundry room that I notice something weird. I've been here plenty of times before and I've always noticed that Ryan likes to keep everything nice and tidy, even here. However, now there are clothes scattered on the floor and it looked like some of the laundry detergents was thrown onto the washer and dry. _But why?_

"Oh my god," I suddenly hear Luke scream from upstairs. Worried, I turn around and start running through the house and I start to climb the stairs, screaming out for Luke. I run into their bedroom and am instantly pushed out into the hallway by Luke as he blocks the door, a phone pressed to his ear, and his gun on his bed.

I ask him what's wrong and where Ohm was, but he doesn't answer me. Instead, he answers the person on the other end of the phone. "I need an ambulance, quick! Please, my ex-wife is in the bathroom, throwing up! She's pregnant and just drank bleach!"

My eyes widen and tears instantly fill them. Without thinking, I start trying to push my way past him as I scream for Ohm, hoping and praying that it isn't true. Hoping that this was some type of sick joke. Something that I needed to end by seeing it myself. A nightmare that could only end with me seeing that everything was created for someone else's amusement. Even if I can hear her vomiting from the bedroom door, I needed to see it myself... I needed to stop it somehow...

...

_I should have heard her out..._


	3. Lost

My knees start to hurt more and more the longer I stay knelt by the little gravestone buried under the large tree in the middle of the church's graveyard. My mind flashes back to that day continuously, playing on repeat like a nightmare that never ends. It had been over a year, and everything just felt like it happened yesterday.

Tears fall down my cheeks like rain as I run my fingertips along the name Jonathan and I had picked for the child that I had stupidly killed in my attempt on ending my own life. River... Such a beautiful name for what could have been a beautiful little girl. Or at least, that's what I had hoped it would have been.

I could see her possibly running around the backyard or in the street with some of the neighborhood kids... I could see her resting in my arms as I rocked her to sleep... _Why did I have to be so selfish?_

I jump when I feel a cold hand rest on my shoulder and hear Jon say, "Come on. You're going to be late again."

I dry my tears and stand up, leaving a rose placed on the empty grave that the church let us have out of pity. Keeping my head down, I follow Jon back to his truck and get in, keeping my eyes locked out the window. We drive through the town in silence as he takes me to the therapist the doctor at the hospital recommend me to. Saying that I had depression or something along those lines. I don't remember, but I didn't care. All that I wanted to do was turn back the hands of time and stop myself from doing so many stupid things. Maybe then I would have had my daughter with me now... or maybe they would have been a boy.

I could see him climbing trees or going on camping trips every weekend with his little friends... It would have been so nice to have a little man running around the house...

After a while, we finally pull up to the old building the therapist was working out of. I sigh before I step out of the truck and walk straight in, sitting down in the waiting room and simply staring off as I waited for my name to be called. 

Could River have worked as a name for a boy?... I think it would work either way... _Why did I have to be such a selfish little bitch?_

*Jon's POV*

I stare at Ohm as she stares off into space. I honestly hate seeing her like this. After she was taken to the hospital last year, she was never the same. She hated that she was still alive, and even worst, she hated that the baby didn't make it. Despite having blisters running all down her throat, she still screamed after learning what had happened.

Luke and I felt absolutely horrible. We may have been pissed off at her for lying and cheating, but we didn't think she would have done that... But maybe I should have. I should have stayed around just a little bit longer... I should have heard her out when we were standing on the porch. There had to have been something that I could have done differently, or maybe I should have driven to the house faster... There had to have been something I could have done differently to have prevented all of this pain...

My heart aches to see Ohm like this...

Without really thinking, I reach over and place my hand on top of hers. She jumps a bit at my touch and looks over to me. Her once beautiful hazel eyes now dead and clouded... it's like staring into rain clouds now...

After she was released from the hospital, Luke and I started taking turns watching over her to keep her from trying to kill herself again. I can see it so clearly in her eyes that she wants to... I can see the regret.

The beautiful woman that I loved so much is sitting in front of me, but this isn't her... and it is all my fault for being so blind by rage that I didn't bother to just talk to her. She must have been so scared when she thought she was going to be all alone...

Not knowing what to say or do, I lean in and give her a little kiss on the bridge of her nose...

The first kiss I've given her in over a year...

She and I... Are lost... Her lost in a depressed mind, clouded with guilt. While myself... I lost in the battle of my heart and mind. I shouldn't love this woman after all the pain she's caused Luke and I, but I can't help but miss the girl I met in high school. The woman that welcomed me home after I got out of prison... The woman that walked into the bar that night...

I want that woman to come back into my life... But she is lost... I am lost...

_I wonder if River would have been the light she and I needed..._


End file.
